As a Marriage and Family Therapist, this is one of the most common complaints I here from couples at the start of therapy. I think the real problem is not that people can’t communicate – I think we communicate all the time! After all, someone (and I don’t remember who) said “we cannot NOT communicate.” We are communicating something all the time, although it may not be exactly what we want. We are sending messages via body language, looks, sighs, etc.

I think the real problem is that we don’t listen! Converstaions between partners often times are more like debates – point/counterpoint. No one really listens to the other’s words because we are too busy in our minds contructing our reply (retort, position, opinion).

I’ve heard it said “we were given two ears and one mouth because we should be listening twice as much as we are talking”. Check it out – see if you are really getting what your partner is trying to tell you.

For more information about me and my psychotherapy practice, go to www.creativemft.com

Tomorrow I will be in a continuing education seminar presented by Froma Walsh, PhD. Dr. Walsh will be discussing family resilience, and how it pertains to family recovery from trauma, loss, and crisis. I am looking forward to hearing her speak and learning practical applications.

I just finished reading a great book – “Against Medical Advice” by James Patterson , Hal Friedman, and Cory Friedman. For anyone who has has child with difficulties, or if you need a lesson in courage and love, this is an amazing book about amazing people. Although much is painful to read , I guarantee that at the end you will be warmed by a family’s strength, perseverance, and love.

There’s lots of information on the internet now, and so many people have blogs – I thought I’d add some of my own observations, information, and ideas that I’ve gathered from my work as a couples and family therapist. I’ll see how it goes and see if there is any interest from readers, so I welcome your comments, questions, and ideas.